The Relationship!

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Hello lovelies! I was feeling rather inspired this week and as a result, this post will be rather wordy 🙂


No hair tips and tricks here, just the truth, which I think we need a large dose of from time to time. My natural hair journey, just like life, has had its ups and downs. I’ve gone through the “Newbie Natural” phase, where everything natural-hair related is new and almost magical. It’s like being a little girl standing in her mother’s high heels wondering when the shoe will ever fit. On to the “Product Junkie” phase when I bought every single product that would promise to be more ‘miraculous’ than the last (they had all the catchy advertising and sponsored naturals on YouTube to do all the convincing) and I bought, bought, BOUGHT!


Between these two phases, I experimented with my hair and had fun doing it! Afro one minute, twist-out the next. I tried it all! This was also the time period when I learned the most about my hair, and learned how to actually cater to its very demanding needs.


I’ve settled down now. My hair journey is like being in a relationship. In the beginning is all new and exciting, getting to know each other and maybe even hiding your flaws in order to put your best foot forward. (You know what I mean, when you try to be ‘Miss Perfect’ and go through leaps and bounds to impress this guy.) After a while, things get serious and feelings are caught (hopefully the feelings are mutual), you then start to see this other person for who they really are, and their flaws slowly start to surface. This is when the fights usually start and you’d hear the words “You weren’t like this when we started dating.” (Well clearly not, I was trying to impress you of course!)


If the relationship overcomes this rough patch, it blossoms into a phase where both parties are honest, comfortable, and begin to appreciate each other’s flaws (these are the perfect imperfections Mr. Legend is referring to… *cues All of Me*). You see, going natural isn’t always a walk in the park. It takes commitment! You need to accept your hair for what it is and stop complaining about what it’s not. “My hair is dry.” “I have no curl pattern.” “You’re lucky you have nice hair, mine is so hard I can’t keep natural hair.” “I wish I had hair like hers.” The list is endless.


In the wise words of a former N’SYNC member, cry me a river! The grass is always greener on the other side honey. In following suit, I’d imagine that the hair on the other side would be the perfect length, shiny, super-moisturized, perfect curl pattern, easy to manage, bla bla bla… There is no such thing! Happy, healthy hair starts with YOU. It starts with accepting your hair for its perfect imperfections and learning to care for it anyway. Let’s ditch the harsh comparisons, stop being a Negative Nancy (no offence to anyone named Nancy) and remain realistic. Realistic being the key term here.


As a parting shot, my year has started off with such a drive for success and a sense of renewed passion for hard work. I wish you all success, not only in your hair journey, but also in your journey through this wonderful gift called life! Positive vibes people!


P.S- The ‘relationship’ example was merely a simile (or was it a metaphor?). Things are never as black and white when emotions are involved, but either way it’s never that serious.


Happy, Nappy Hair!


Yvette Kemi